Friday, April 13, 2007

A Long and Nervous Weekend is Upon Us

This is the last Friday before we find out our bar exam results. They should be arriving by mail early next week. It is going to be a tense weekend in the Breck household! Thankfully we have lots of stuff to do around the house (cleaning, laundry, yard clean up) and a very cranky and physically able toddler to keep our minds distracted.

I have lowered my food intake - actually, I've gone back to the weight loss program that has worked for me in the past - Lindora. I did Lindora when I lived in Southern California and I lost around 40 pounds in 3 months. It was quick - and then I got a new boss I hated (actually I think she hated me more) and I promptly let the stress of my life allow me to gain it all back plus a few extra. Then I got pregnant at my max weight. Yes, my pregnancy was just a blast. I don't know how obese people get through life - it was really uncomfortable.

Once I had the kid, I took a few weeks to enjoy my son and indulge in holiday foods and then I did Lindora online for 10 weeks. I lost 20-25 pounds. Then I applied the same principles and lost another 15 on my own. I could have done that again this time but for some reason my motivation level has just not been very strong. So - I decided to sign up for another Lindora session. I know, I know I said no "gimmicks" when I started this blog but I really don't consider Lindora to be a gimmick at all. The diet is low calorie, low fat and low carb (basically, low food) but it works like a charm. Once I reach my goal weight, I will go back to the whole touchy feely getting in touch with my inner child crap but for now I just want to get the weight off so that I can enjoy summer and then promptly get knocked up.

I plan to weigh on Sunday morning so I will do a post then and put up more photos. Perhaps I will have managed to obtain a new sports bra by then... perhaps not. Check back to see my amazing progress.

As a side note - but it is actually very important for me to document - today I overcame a serious urge to self-sabotage. Without getting into all of the dramatic details of my life long history of addiction and self-abusive behaviors, I am proud to say that I was hit with a heavy duty urge today and thought about it for hours but through prayer, some distracting and inspirational reading, and by reaching out to another and admitting what what going on, I managed to move past it. Thanks for giving me the strength, God. It has been a long time since I've struggled and actually come out on top.

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