Monday, April 9, 2007

New Pants and Supporting the Girls

I am so bad - all this talk about being so committed to my entries on the blog and here I go and miss several days AND failed to post my photos for last week. Shame on me. Oh well - I have a happy attitude today despite my failings as a weight-losing member of society.

I went and weighed myself last Thursday despite my um, promise, not to. Lo and behold, I had still not lost any weight and was still stuck at 169 ish (leaning very close to 170, let's say). I was SO pissed off. I promptly ate something forbidden, just as any reasonable woman would - I mean really, I might as well have been eating pizza all week. Maybe that is going a little far but you know what I mean.

So I am just going to forget all that and just put my nose to the grindstone yet again. Move more, eat less, move more, eat less. I did happen to buy myself a new pair of workout pants so that I don't have to feel like some skanky schlub out jogging the streets of my beautiful neighborhood in my nasty old velour cozy pants. One pair I have is too big (baggy butt), one pair has a hole on the right cheek (air vent butt) and the last pair is so damned old and thin that when I had my baby and was wearing them in the hospital, my parents felt so sorry for me that they went out and bought me a giant velour jogging suit (preggers-style), jammies and a robe. SO - the new workout pants are not velour, thank God, and they are quite sassy with a white stripe down the leg. Now I just need to put them on and do something.

What I really need is a new sports bra. I was looking at these poor excuses for sports bras at Target. Are they serious? The term "sports BRA" clearly indicates that the person wearing it will have BREASTS they want to keep from flopping around when jogging, jumping, etc. These wee wisps of fabric that are masquerading as "sports bras" are certainly not capable of strapping down these cantaloupes - no way. The tags say that the sports bras have a "shelf bra" in them to offer extra support. Baby, I don't need a shelf, I need a damned iron-reinforced overpass, complete with earthquake retrofitting to accommodate even the most severe techtonic forces. I mean, I've got RACK. So I've been checking out the internet - a website called Title 9 has some awesome contraptions that are guaranteed to hold the girls in place but they want some serious cash. I guess I can understand, considering the amount of reinforcement, advanced top secret government-issue fabric and extra sewing that is sure to be involved. Anyway - I'm sure I will have to bend to the pressure and buy one soon as I cannot continue to jog along holding my boobs in hopes that I will notice any on-coming cars or neighbors in their yards before they seem me gripping myself. Really - I do it.

I will post new photos tomorrow, though they are not going to be any different, really. Well, you might notice something different. How about this - I will wear my new workout pants. Unfortunately, I will still be wearing the old sports bra. Here's the tip that it is OLD - It is a size small but so stretched out by years and years of use that even as a 38DD I can still wear it. That's probably why I am able to still use it for support - it is stretched to full capacity and about to explode.

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