Thursday, July 12, 2007

What the F*CK Was I Thinking?

OMG - WHY did I have this stupid ass surgery? It has been about 9 days and all I can say is - this SUCKS and I wish I had not done it.

The actually surgery was fine - hell, that little shot of valium and then wheee! I woke up just fine from the anesthesia and was fairly happy and comfortable until the Demerol drip was turned off and I was switched over to Norco pills. Then the pain began and kept on and on for days. The first Awful Incident was the day after the surgery when the doctor (bless his heart, he really is a nice guy) removed the "packing" from my nose. Basically he reached in there and ripped out these giant, blood-filled tampon-ish things that had crusted up and dried to my sinuse cavities. Yeah, that was awesome. I was crying and beginning to hyperventilate and was just a total mess. However, I made it, and also made it through the next follow up appt a couple of days later when the other tampon was removed. It was so bad but still - having all that crap up your nose while it is all raw and bloody is just... digusting and vomit-making.

I made my way through the first few days, though, and really thought that I would be just fine when they removed the giant splint they left in there to support my devastated septum. I was so wrong - WAY wrong. Removal of the splint and then the follow up suctioning of the sinuses was some of the worst pain I've ever had to deal with. And the doctor tried to be gentle but he actually had to stop the procedure because I was moving too much and you know, it is not good to be moving around while someone has a 7 or 8 inch scope up your nose, along with a giant suctioning device meant to suck out the "crusty stuff" (that is a medical term,apparently) left from the surgery. And can I just let off a little bit of steam about the nurse? I mean, she was okay, I guess, but talk about cold and clinical. Here I am crying and writhing around in pain and actually APOLOGIZING to them for crying and she just stands there - no "it's okay," no "you're going to be fine, just relax," just a cold silence, as if I was being the biggest wimp ever and she couldn't believe my lack of pain tolerance. I could feel a weird hostility, really.

Anyway - we are giving it another week to see if my pain subsides but if not, they will likely have to put me under again to do the cleaning, which would really suck. I have already lost a lot of time from work - I don't need to feel anymore inadequate or useless, really - thanks, anyway.

I will write more later - My battery is about to go and I still have loads to bitch about. And by the way, I am in no way concerned about my waistline right now!!!! I'll get back to that when I am feeling better, which will hopefully happen this year. NO SINUS SURGERY FOR ANYONE EVER!!

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