Monday, October 22, 2007

Weekend Food Crazies

I'm back. I just can't seem to find the time to do a blog entry on the weekends. I can barely find time to even make my Lindora food plan each day on the weekend! I had a fairly uneventful weekend as far as major outings or experiences go. Costco, grocery store, Target, church, home - the usual rounds. I find, though, that it is much harder for me to stay "on plan" (as they say at Lindora) on the weekends. I just can't stop hearing those f-ing goldfish crackers calling my name from the top of the refrigerator.

I am really being shown that food is my emotional salve for the majority of feelings I have. Happy? Eat something...you deserve it. Sad? EAT...you'll feel better. STRESSED? (That's the big one for me). Eat to calm your nerves. It's unbelievable how often the thought of "food as band-aid" comes charging into my head. I have to literally make myself walk out of the kitchen. Before Justin was finished cooking dinner last night, I went upstairs and just sat in the bathroom reading a magazine. It was warm and cozy in there, plus there is no food available for me to salivate over. (It didn't really help that Justin was snacking on chips and salsa while he cooked dinner). Once I had dinner I was okay but man, that is stressful just having to figure out a way to deal with my feelings.

Also, I have seen that I am an opportunistic eater. Whenever I have the chance to shove something in my mouth without someone seeing, I pretty much take it (well, not right now - that is what I am learning NOT to do). Usually, if I am alone, I will use that opportunity to eat something, anything, without having others see me. Am I crazy? Even if I am not hungry, my mind tells me "you'd better eat that while you have the chance," as if somehow I might lose the ability to eat it later when my husband is home. It is HIDING eating. SNEAKING eating. I didn't realize how much I did that until I stopped doing it. But the urge still hits me often.

I am up and down with my enthusiasm about losing weight - I get discouraged so easily and then have to build myself back up. One thing that totally helps a shitty mood is my Hip Hop Abs. I did "Booty Shakin'" the other night and OMG, what a blast. I am so glad I ordered this collection. It makes exercise fun and makes me feel like I am a great dancer, which I am not, but it is fun to pretend to be J-Lo or Janet Jackson every once in awhile.

I was 161.0 today. My body is just not very happy to leave the 160's and is holding on for dear life. Sorry, Chubs, you're going DOWN.

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