The starting over thing just happens over and over until you decide that you're going to JUST DO IT. I am not going to rewrite older posts of mine (where I have addressed "the decision" and "just do it") but the point is driven home each time I have to recommit to being committed. Which is like, every week. What we need to be doing, perhaps, is recommitting EVERY DAY. Just like in AA or NA or whatever 12 step program you may be familiar with, taking it "one day at a time" makes anything easier.
So just for today I will stick to my clean eating plan (Lindora being my program of choice currently) and will exercise. See, THIS I can do. Instead of seeing some long, unending stretch of deprivation and greasy sweat & grunt sessions, I can just look at today's goals. That makes it appear easier, anyway!!
Today I weigh 152.2. I've got about 17 to go until my goal of 135. It's in reach, man. And I received some new motivation the other night in a nifty brown box from Nordstrom. I received the designer jeans that my Dad bought me for Christmas. They are now altered for my height and just waiting to caress my curves. I must say, however, that I currently look a bit like a sausage in them. Total muffin-top in the back and a little bit of the mommy crepe-skin belly hangover in the front. A few weeks of cardio and clean eating will have me in these pants in no time, however.
And I'd better get a jump on it, too, because my two girlfriends came over on Saturday in their fancy jeans and I tell you, I felt like the fat girl at a school dance. Now, I am NOT saying that at 152 pounds I am hugely FAT but you know what I mean - when you're standing next to a couple people shaped like pencils, you suddenly realize that the magic-marker body you thought was pretty ok is, perhaps, in need of some work. I would settle for a crayon body, or maybe even sharpie pen. The SMALL one. Oh, I digress, yet again!
So one day at a time. Maybe I will post a picture of a pencil on the refrigerator. In designer jeans.