Bring the Insanity

I recently got Beachbody.com's newest workout program, "Insanity." It features Shaun T (of "Hip Hop Abs" fame) yelling and sweating profusely with some of the most amazingly in shape people I've ever seen. (I have an admiring crush on Ariel, the fabulous blonde gal with abs of granite and an ass that you could balance an apple on, as in, it is like a SHELF jutting out from behind her). Shaun T works everyone to death, jumping around, flailing arms, rapid fire push ups, something totally evil called "suicides," the works - Even the people in the video crumple up onto the floor in exhaustion, take breaks, etc. It is mostly high intensity cardio circuits so far. It is a 60 day program. Tomorrow is Day 4. So far, despite the fact that I usually feel like I am dying 5 minutes into it, I am loving it. I just go A LOT slower than those crazy people. Truly, the work outs are INSANE. They named the program appropriately.

I've even been getting up in the morning to do it - that is big news, considering the fact that I hate dragging my ass out of bed for any reason. I've been eating well and taking care of myself, too. Wow - I can't believe I just wrote that. It's pretty rare that I am doing a lot of the right things for myself... I get scared because I am afraid that at any minute, something is going to happen and I am going to go back to feeling depressed and mired in my own self-loathing.

Feeling well (or dare I say "happy"?) always feels a little precarious to me, as if it is just a brief, temporary state that could escape me at any given moment, not to be seen again for years to come. I stand back and quietly admire the serenity inside of me the way an ice sculptor might examine his work - it is beautiful and grand and I am filled with satisfaction, but I am also sad because I know that the melting is inevitable, continuing until there is nothing but a pool of self-pity at my feet.

To help with these feelings, I am just working on the whole "one day at a time" concept. I don't need to worry about whether I will be happy tomorrow - I just need to focus on what I can do today to take care of myself. When I do those things, the happiness and serenity just sort of happen. And if something shitty happens during a day, I can continue to do the right things for myself, instead of getting pissed off and childishly saying to myself, "Well, if that's how it's going to be I might as well be how I've always been. There is no reason to change." I am embarassed to say this, but at 40 years old, I think I can positively say that I am beginning to grow up.

So back to the Insanity thing - I will be checking in here at least once a week with my results and a report on how it is going. I hope to live through the first week - so far the knees are holding up fine and my heart rate is staying under bursting point. If you are at all interested in learning more about any of Beachbody.com's programs, you should go by their website. My husband and I both use their programs (we don't belong to a gym at all - we work out at home) and I can say that we've been totally satisfied with every program - Turbo Jam, Hip Hop Abs, P90X, Slim in 6, and now Insanity. We've both gotten great results when we stick to the program and watch our nutrition. No, Beachbody doesn't pay me to write this - I just think they are a great company (even though they charge WAY too much for shipping...)

Have a great week!