I'm back (waiting for applause now...) Oh wait, that's right - nobody reads my blog!! That's cool - I am here mostly to blow off steam and talk about my body and weight issues with, uh, myself.
So I am DOING it. I'm not just talking about losing weight or wishing I was losing weight or telling people I am "dieting" while sneaking huge piles of snacks when nobody is looking - I am actually doing it. I am down 26 pounds since my last entry. I am currently 154 lbs., down from 180. I've got 19 more to go to 135 and I am definitely going to get there. It just takes time.
Time and discipline. If I have learned anything in the last several months it is that you have to WANT to lose weight and DECIDE that you're going to do it. I had to make a decision. And that's the key. That's the big secret, everyone, just so you know, and you got it FREE right here on my blog. It really is that simple, but it is not EASY. And that is what people (me, included) want it to be - easy. Well, it's not, so get over it and get real. I did, and it's payin' off!
I didn't say it was fun, either. Hey, I don't like going to bed hungry. I don't like not getting to have a Blizzard at DQ when everyone else does. I don't like eating salad when everyone else is enjoying penne pasta with meat sauce. But I tell you what I do like - I like sliding comfortably into tight, expensive jeans. I like exercising effortlessly and not feeling like a winded elephant clomping around my workout room. I like turning men's heads. Frankly, I love feeling beautiful. And strong and capable of doing whatever the hell I want. It is worth the sacrifices (most of the time!) and the struggle.
And I reassure myself that it will not always be so drastic. I realized that the weight loss phase had to be extremely disciplined - almost militant. Reason is, I already had a lot of healthy eating habits (love vegetables, hummus, lean meats, etc.) but I was not able to lose weight because I was eating too many calories and not getting enough exercise. Another big secret I decided to accept - it really is about calories in, calories out. I know, you had no idea, but it's true - at least for me. And yes, I know, some calories are better than others and some calories will make you feel much better than other calories (for example, chicken breast v. Pop Tart...you decide which one makes you feel better...) but ultimately, it comes down to the caloric content of what I put in my mouth, period.
And another great bit of wisdom I decided to accept recently - Having a strong and healthy (and good looking, let's be real here) body is about 80% what you put in your mouth and 20% what you do physically. Now that's for us normal people, of course, not Olympic athletes (I still hate Michael Phelps for getting to eat 50,000 calories a day or whatever it was). If I want my body to change, I must change what and how much I eat on a daily basis. These are all simple truths that I had to accept but of course, acceptance is one thing and execution is another.
But I'm executing and it's working today, though some days are downright miserable. For example, the last few days I was at a plateau and was feeling ready to throw in the towel and go to 5 Guys Burgers & Fries. Fuck it, I wanted to say, I am EATING. But instead of 5 Guys, I decided to first look at what I was eating (chicken, chicken and more chicken - oh, and cucumbers and peppers!) and then make some changes to try and ward off the boredom. So I went out and bought myself some big ass king crab legs. That's right, you heard me. And I got some shrimp (nice ones, mind you) and a lobster tail to boot. I am worth it, I told myself, and maintaining my sanity (as opposed to obsessing about greasy burgers) became a top priority. I learned something new and learned how to cook something new and what do you know - I did not feel so miserable. And I discovered that the squirting fake butter is pretty damned good when the buckets of drawn butter are not an option.
So the crab legs rocked (and the crab leg meat I had for lunch today was amazing - cold crab is my new passion, I think) and I broke the plateau, losing a pound. Hallelujah, I say - and tonight it's the shrimp and some boiled cabbage, another bizzare thing I've come to adore in my quest for health. I know I will soon tire of the shellfish and then it will be something else, like that frozen buffalo steak I spied in my freezer this morning. I try to just take it one day at a time, instead of thinking about how LONG I have to go on dieting, blah blah blah. Each day is new and I do my best. If we keep it simple, it makes it seem easier.
But it ain't never EASY. Anyone who trys to tell you that losing weight is easy is high on crack.